quinta-feira, 22 de março de 2012

10 coisas...

...que nunca vão ouvir de uma assistente de bordo!
A experiência de 15 anos levou-a a escrever um livro "Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet", onde expõe, entre outras coisas, 10 das coisas que JAMAIS vão ouvir de uma assistente de bordo! E apesar de ainda só levar 1/3 da experiência desta senhora revejo-me em cada um dos pontos (bom...menos naquele do "vomitar para cima do vestido"...espero nunca me rever nesse :p blhéeekkkk!!!)

Aqui vão elas:

1. You can keep using your cell phone. The reason we'll never tell you this is because you can't. Oh, I know you think you can. Regardless of what Myth Busters "proved" or what the New York Times printed last week, turning your cell phone off is the law. We can actually be fined (personally) by the FAA for not enforcing the rule. So unless you want to pay that fine for me, and then employ me, turn it off!

2. You get fewer options if you're at the back of the plane. This shouldn't be true -- you've paid for the same ticket as everyone else -- but it's simple math. If we only have 55 Diet Cokes for 160 coach passengers, and we've used them all up by the time we get to your row, there's nowhere to restock at 35,000 feet. But look on the bright side: You were one of the first passengers to board the flight, so you probably found an open bin for your carry-on, which is not always the case for those sitting in the first row drinking their beverage of choice.

3. Sure, we can change the cabin temperature. Some people run hot, some run cold -- it's impossible to make everyone happy. There's no way we're going call the pilots every five minutes to warm up the cabin and then cool it down. If you complain about the temperature, we might tell you we'll have the captain adjust it. But unless the entire plane complains, or the crew is uncomfortable, it probably ain't happening.

4. Stay warm with an airplane blanket. Now, I'm not saying anything specific here, but if I were you, I'd wrap up in a sweater or coat. That's what a flight attendant would do. And I definitely wouldn't put one of those blankets anywhere near my face. The pillows? Well, I haven't seen one of those in years, but I do remember people used them for the darndest things. (Note: Flight attendants alone probably keep Purell in business.) (Vá...não é assim tão dramático :p)

5. You want the chicken entree, no garlic? No problem. Planes are not restaurants. As much as people like to think so, we're not waiters. Keep in mind we have one oven to heat up more than 30 meals in business class. You don't have be from CSI to realize you're basically eating a TV dinner that's been prepared in a toaster oven. (É duro...mas aquilo NÃO é MESMO um restaurante...e não, não temos refeições vegetarianas ou sem glúten ou sem cebola ou sem ervas aromáticas escondidas...e não, NÃO podemos servir só o arroz e tirar o peixe!!!)

6. It's against the law to join the mile-high club. Because it's not! That's the good news. The bad news is it's against the law to disobey crew commands, so if we ask you to stop, by all means stop! And come out with your pants up. Then everything will be A-OK, and you won't have to tell your cellmate what you're in for. (Ahahahaha!!! Engraçadinhos...!!)

7. Our ages. Gone are the days when you could pinch us and get away with it, but a few well-kept secrets are still every woman's (and man's) prerogative.

8. My layover hotel is XYZ. Maybe I've seen too many slasher movies, but the last thing I want is that passenger who complained about slow beverage service knowing where I'm sleeping. (So true...)

9. How the movie ends. Because during the 17 times it's shown on our flights, we have been otherwise occupied. Same goes for the question "where are we?" Usually we have no idea. Unless we call the captain, all we know is where we are in the beverage service (which, we hope, isn't too slow, see above). (Bem...vontade não falta realmente :))

10.  I hate my job. We do our best to keep passengers from realizing how tiring our job can be, especially if we've encountered delays. Just bear in mind I've said "hello," "goodbye" and "what you would like to drink?" about 600 times over the course of three days, and the only time I stopped smiling was when a passenger threw up on my dress on day one of a three-day trip, and when I ran out of shampoo on day two. There's a reason we continue to do what might sound torturous to some. We love it! (It's a fact...)

Tudinho daqui!

2 comentários:

Mariana Bessa Martins disse...

Há pessoas muito complicadas! Eu procuro sempre ser o menos "incomodativa" possível. E mantenho a esperança de um dia te encontrar por esses céus! ;)

Anónimo disse...

Division of physical ability of Sohu VS rocket: Familiar Aersitongmabuli effect is big
: Fosan has a lot of trains, what are you responsible?
Jimmy: We have many trains really, ha, I am physical ability coach, so I basically am in charge of the physical ability respect of all players namely, include the refreshment of the player, maintain body condition to wait a moment, it is better to help them go to them body [url=http://wholesalenikeshoes.manifo.com/]wholesale nike shoes[/url] conditioning go to them body conditioning. Still have even if have some of player probably very young, I help them become more strong with respect to need, more strong, still have even if give them a few skill.
: Is your impression to China how?
Jimmy: I like China very much, actually I am in China already 3 years, in Yao Ming's training battalion works before, can this the opportunity works to this club I am very happy also, fosan is a young team, a young club, I think the organization of the club and management are done very well, this also let me have a very satisfactory work environment. We are done weller in effort everyday now, this also lets me pass very contentedly in Chinese day.
: Fosan team is progress very great now?
Jimmy: We are to be in really progress everyday, know like you, we just won 4 contests last year, but we had won 8 now, and those who want concede points team to grow is so fast, just try hard exceedingly because of us, player people special effort.
: What does Mabuli mean to Fosan?
Jimmy: Mabuli to team it is everything, he assumes the coach's job already, also assume the responsibility of the player, he can help youth study, also can bear the responsibility that has him team leader, go notching, go helping team triumph, he is everything begin, he was done for team a lot of, not exaggerated says, he is the one part with very large team.
: How do Mabuli's physical ability and condition maintain?
Jimmy: To him this is planted for the age, his present body condition is retentive special club, he is in those who maintain state field to do is first-rate, when he is training together with me, experienced special effort, he resembles now is like be in those days when NBA, special occupational is undertaking seriously at ordinary times the body trains, what he does is very pretty good.
: A Ersi connects expression to also do not go out tonight, are you familiar to him?
Jimmy: I am very familiar to Aersitong, because I am in those days,work in rocket team, strap them like peaceful, I worked together with them a sports season, so I had been together with Aersitong several summer, I work in Fosan now, the likelihood meets without so much chance and them, but I and Aersitong they are very ripe, look today, his position is good also, mabuli and the performance that A Ersi tells two people are good.
: To yourself, what is your target?
Jimmy: The target of myself, ha, I hope to be able to be in me namely the experience of the respect of training of a few physical ability of NBA takes China, take CBA, I hope I can resemble cooperating together with Yao Ming in those days same, help these youths in our team become better now. (Editor: ? Lin? Pay close attention to his small gain
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